It is something that I have been thinking about lately. Something that has astonished me, and what I have become. It's something that I like a lot more than what I could have become if I kept down the same road. It is quite astonishing really, and who planted all these thoughts in my head, Rise Against. Weird, I know, but I have taken a huge liking to this band for many reasons. They represent so much more than just music, and that is as admirable.
What was I doing, the past two years of my life have been tumultuous to say the least. It all goes back to something that happened two years ago today (8/17), after that it has been a downhill ride. I was someone I didn't really like. I started being more and more around alcohol, and drugs, which for the longest time I despised, now it was something regular. I wasn't drinking a lot but I can tell that if I kept going the way that I was going, it would have developed into something much worse. I lost a lot of respect for things, it was everything, I used to embrace the small and enjoy the simple. It wasn't so much anymore. Then I started listening to Rise Against.
It wasn't over night that I was hooked of course, and it took almost 2 years for me to get the message. The first time I remember hearing them was in 2004, when "Give It All" was all over MTV. I didn't like it because of Tim's afro thing he had. I also remember a baseball teammate singing the chorus for "Swing Life Away" in 2006 at their locker before a game. Then it wasn't until the summer of 2008 when I met Kyle I heard Rise Against again. She showed me them, and the song "Re-Education (Through Labor)," and I remember saying that song wasn't band and had an 80's hard rock vibe. She also showed me Sum 41, which I was aware of too, but never took interest in. Sure enough, I went though a hard time after we split and then I heard two Rise Against songs on the radio "Ready To Fall," and "The Good Left Undone." Those were nothing to the next song I heard by them, I then caught "Audience of One" on the radio in Febuary of 2009, and it spoke to me. I started downloading as much Rise as I could. I got hooked.
After year or so of listening to them, it has struck me as more than just music. It has become something that I could rally around, and something I can look up to.The class that they have, their lack of drug use. I was into the whole 80's rock thing, and I look at these guys now in bands like Motley Crue, and Def Leppard and see what a lifestyle like that can lead to. That's not me. I did my research on the band, and started more and more liking what they stood for. They really stood up for people like me, and the person that can't be heard. They care as much a s a band at their stature can care. The band I was in were losing touch with where we stood in the world, I knew where I was, but we were getting lost. We were rebels without a cause, and they are still just that. I have causes, I have beliefs, and I have class.
What do I do. I change everything. Long hair is gone, I have a beard again, for now. Depends on how I feel it may change. I wear different clothes. I don't wear 80's band tee-shirts and jeans anymore. It is an image that has escaped me, and I am going to let run on forever. I never want it back. This is all because a band turned me away from the dark path that I was going. I see thing brighter again. Things were getting dim where I was. I have drive to actually do something with my life, hence me moving out in 6 months. Its all because of this band, listening to them, and getting what they have been saying has really gotten me straightened out. It feels good to know where you are going to go for now. I was sick of no direction.
I don't know where the other road would have taken me. I was in a band that was going no where, even though we liked to believe other wise. Unfortunately I really screwed up my social life with that band. It wasn't that popular, so the only friends I had were those in the band. Looking back at it I really don't think that all of them I really could have considered a friend, but rather just an acquaintances. That is something that will recover.
"Lets not play games and stall in nostalgia, lets live for today.. Better yet lets live and create our future now."
Night-SS
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