Today, I'm trying to find a reson to keep my mind active. I am done with my summer class. Of which I got a 95 in, meaning my lecture course will not transfer over to NAU in the spring. This college thing is exciting. It does help that I will be moving out in a few months, but that time can't come soon enough. I'm fighting off that anxiety, and excitement of this encroaching event. I just want out of this damn town, I detest Phoenix, and I don't want to go to the hole that Tucson is, and it is best to stay in state for now, so it has come to that.
What am I going to do up there. I'm still not 100% sure. It is something is still totally up in the air, but I have narrowed down some of my choices. The two that are glaring back at me right now are a strange combination. The strange combination being, geology, and journalism. For journalism, I want to get into broadcast journalism and get into radio broadcasting. I want to be that voice on the radio that people connect with the team, like I connect Mets radio broadcast to Howie Rose. For geology, I want to get into historical geology. I want to study the past of the Earth, and where it is going. I have a million theories about where Earth has been, and where it is going. It is just crazy about what goes through my head on this stuff.
The trek to Flagstaff should be very interesting. Meeting a whole new lineup of people. I have been fed up with a lot, not all of, the people that I have been surrounded by in Phoenix. I've said this enough, change is always good. About 36,000 people go to NAU each semester, so there are so many opportunities to meet new people, it is a good change.
I'm not going to lie. I am afraid of crossing paths with someone again. I don't hate them, it just hurts me to see what they have become two years later. I don't think it will be that big of an issue, but it is something that is in the back of my mind. My mind is a kind of like that cliche' desert road in the middle, you know, with the tumbleweeds that blow across it, and the lone gas station, and eerie looking small living establishments. It take me to places I have been, and do not want to return, and vice-versa. At the same time, it takes me to new unknown places, those of which I can never really know what the true outcome may be. The unknown is interesting, but the same time, I really don't want to be lead back down a path I left so very long ago. Anyone that has truly been there will know the feeling.
I sit here in a shady room, just trying to keep going, for what right now, no reason. I don't have much of a cause to be writing now, but just out of true boredom. Trying to conquer that lonely feeling for today. I make it sound worse than it is, but it's not. There's just nothing to do, and no where to do. That's what makes it a lonely feeling. Will I have something to say later today/tonight, who knows. I just need to find something to do for now.
My hopes, my fears are all combining into one. Then again, who's aren't. We all have such a positive outlook on things most of the times, but there is always something in the back of our head that leaves us with the sense of fear, even though the concept you have presented yourself with is so simple, and nothing should go wrong. Murphy's Law sucks at times. That is just the nature of the human mind, do we really cause a good situation to implode on our own, or do we just set our fate that way, or even better yet, does out subconscious do it for us. Something I was talking about the other day.
I think this should be enough for now. Just trying to keep my mind going, and not let myself fall asleep at 3 PM.-SS
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