A Eulogy For 2010

I purposely waited until now to post a new blog so I can finally say this.

Dear year that was 2010:
You were an asshole at times, and other times you were interesting, to say the least. To watch you go does not bring me any remorse, but a sigh of relief. Not because I am turning 21 in 2011, but all that has happened this year has opened my eyes, and ears to so much you could not comprehend. If anything I can say about you twenty ten was that you were a year or learning from mistakes.

So much has happened this past 365 days. Lets see. Start off with the big changer, I quit my band. One of the best decisions I have ever made. Yes, I may not have an outlet for the lyrics I am writing right now, but that will change. If I did not get out of there I would be going no where, and arriving there very soon. I was criticized because the former band members thought I was a problem, when I can clearly see now that they are in denial and need to wake up. I was doing everything for that band except holding the guys dicks when they urinated. Since I have quit and made that change, I have taken a sort of straight edge approach. I honestly do not find alcohol that appealing. I can have a drink, and get a little buzzed every once in a while, but it isn't me to drink at the same place every weekend. Not only that I am moving on with life, and pursuing things that are greater than what I once imagined. Possibilities are endless I have come to see.

The year of the punk concert. Who have I seen this year:
Against Me!, twice, July 27, and Sept. 26 (Epicenter 2010)
Bad Religion, twice Nov. 9, and Sept. 26 (Epicenter 2010)
Rise Against, Sept. 26 (Epicenter 2010)
Street Dogs, Oct 9
Green Day, Aug 30
Warped Tour, Jun 29 (Sum 41, Andrew WK, Riverboat Gamblers, Causalities, ect.)
Bouncing Souls, Nov. 9 with Bad Religion
Anti-Flag, Jan. 25
Street Dogs, Oct 7
Nations Afire, July 20

I went to eight concerts this year. I know I am probably miscounting, but that is a pretty close estimate. I saw two shows in California, Nations Afire, and Epicenter Fest, and a few local shows. The theme to you 2010 was punk bands. Every second I loved it. Wouldn't trade it for the world. It was appearing to be a slow year, then the last push made it all worth it.

A change in hair tastes also came about. I went from long wanna be 80's hair to a much more refined look, that I personally feel is more me than what I had. Staring in July right after I left my band, I decided it was time for a change, and cut most of may hair off, but left some length on top and not much. Then recently I again changed it, and went really short, which I like, and again feel it is even more me. This will be changing though. I will go through times where I decide to grow my hair out for 3 months, and then go short again. I like change. I was going to dye it black, but decided against that because my hair is dark enough as it is.

With the passing of the year I believe that I have matured in a way that was unexpected. I think some where back in June my mind finally said, "common asshole, it is time to get off your ass and grow up." For once I listened. I really have a changed view with things. I have come to learn, and love who I am and be okay with that. That is something that is important, I guess. I have a direction that I was lacking December 31 of last year. Last December things looked really bleak, and as if it was only going to get worse, but then things changed about three or four days before the spring semester started. A second chance you could say.

There have been bad times, like after my doctors appointment, when my doctor decided to really berate me with bad news I already knew. Then that was all turned around more recently. No worries there. I almost killed myself this year back in January when I drank about 2/3 of a bottle of Jack Daniels in about 35 minuets, highly advisable not to do that again. Worst night of my life. Actually, I take that back, there was a night in 2008 that was even worse, but that is a whole different story.

Lets talk about where I really think the year changed for me. In April, my grandfather passed away. Unfortunately I wasn't as close to him as I really should have. Strangely enough, when he passed, I had to go back to New York. I left Long Island ten years ago this past June. I thought back then it would be great, but I was wrong. I met up with people that I haven't seen in almost ten years, and it was amazing. If I could pin point one exact moment that everything turned around, it would have been then. That week in New York made me realize where my heart really was. I think things changed there, and that is what made this year what it was.

2010, you were up, and you were down. Tears were shed, and laughs were over abundant. You are going, and I have no remorse that you are gone. Like I said, you were an asshole at times, but then again you were cool. I am over you.

2011, you are fucking mine.... Watch out...-SS