This Town Will Be The Downfall Of Us All

This is it. It was months, weeks, days, now just hours. In 48 hours I will be in my apartment in Flagstaff.

I mean, I can even go back almost two years that this has been building up from, but it is now finally happening. To say I am not nervous, or scared would be a blatant lie. I have however been feeling indifferent about everything. When things fell through last year, I was disappointed, and maybe left a lot of excitement there. I think now it is starting to settle in. It has been 11 years, going on 12 now that I have been stuck in this place. To say I had it hard would be a lie too, it has been difficult at times, but I have persevered. There is so much up that I have no idea about. The uncertainty is mysterious, and unnerving at the same time. There are so many positives coming out of this too.

The biggest that I can say I am making is the jump into a real life, if you want to call it that. A step that can take me just about anywhere, and everywhere at the same time. The jump isn't the thing that I am most concerned about, it is about all the "hardships" that I have heard about university life. It is so weird that I have to learn a new town, and get used to all its oddities. I am also going to meet a slew of new people, hopefully, too. I think that is what has me most intrigued.

If there is one thing that has me the most concerned is the chance of failure, and things going horribly wrong. There is so much that can, then again there is so much that can go right. One of those things that has concerned me.

I'm leaving Phoenix in the rearview mirror and not really going to look back. While, yes my band still is in Phoenix, I will be coming down to practice every other weekend to stay up on everything. That isn't stopping me from playing on my own in Flag though. I will be practicing almost non-stop up there.

To those who have doubted me, fuck you. I am done here. I am moving on into another more important chapter in my life. There is a good group of people around me, and a supporting cast starting to form. I am looking forward to the next year, and see where it will lead me...

"Meet me out past the train tracks, I'm leaving, and I'm not coming back...."