Scream Until You're Coughing Blood

This weekend, has been nuts to say the least.

Lets start with Thursday. Thursday is the last day that I have class for the week, so I consider my weekend starting after my last class that day. Before my first class on Thursday I got a phone call from a strange 602 number, I answered, and sure enough it was X103.9 and they are telling me that I won tickets to see Against Me!. I already has tickets for the show, so I asked around to see if anyone else wanted to go. I wound up bringing six people to the show. Pretty cool. Also, four of the six were seeing Against Me! for the first time. AM! "noobs."

The chronicle that was Jan 28, 2010 started off very good. I woke up around 10:30 in a very good mood. Went to Uncle Sams with my brother at around noon, it was his birthday. So got to heading down to the venue around 2, and was actually expecting to see a line for the concert already forming. I was wrong, we thought we were the first ones to arrive to the concert. We sat around for about 30 minuets or so until two other people showed up, apparently they had been there since 1:30. So we sat around playing our guitars for a while, then around 4 decided to put them away. Wouldn't be the last time we saw them.

Around 5:15 we see a white van arrive to the venue. We at first thought it was one of the other opening bands. It wasn't. It was AM!, they had just arrived. My brother and I walked over to my car to put some stuff away, and said "hi" to James Bowman (guitarist), and Andrew Seward (bassist). Then we saw Tom Gabel (rhythm guitar/lead vocals) and said "hi" to him too. Tom had long shaggy hair, which he is growing out, "for world peace." They went into the venue for their sound check. It wouldn't be the last time we saw then, oh no.

Shortly before the doors opened Tom walks out, and walks by the line that was about 50-100 people long at this point, and we stop him and have a few words with him. It was really cool meeting him. Tom Gabel is no short guy, is is about my hight, I think he is about 6'1, but I was eye level with him. We talked for a few minuets, then he said "I have to go eat," and disappeared into downtown Mesa. Shortly after he disappeared, Jay Weinberg, their new drummer and Max Weinberg's kid, came out. Again we started talking to him. He is my age so it was cool talking to him, actually I am about 6 months older than him, which was weird. The strangest part about this was that no one else in line noticed that Tom, and Jay were outside. No one else moved.

We get into the venue, and got front and center. Best spot I have ever had. The first two bands sucked, the second one ha a guitar player that had horrible EQ's on his guitar to the point I needed to cover my ears. Too much high. That hurts. AM! came on about 10 or so, and they opened up with "Pints of Guinness Make You Strong," which was awesome because me and my brother did the same thing when we did our acoustic show. The set they played was flawless, and almost perfect. Heard close to all the songs I wanted to hear. Just an all around great live show.

Then here is where things started getting really awesome!!!

Right after the set ended, Jordan, AM!'s manager was taking some gear off the stage, and we asked him if we could meet the band and get the setlist we ripped off the stage signed. He directed come around the front of the venue and for us to wait there. We bolted out of the venue, pushing through the crowd trying to get out as fast as we could, which strangely we didn't exactly have to rush out of there. We get to the "backstage" area and wait. Someone suggested in getting my brothers guitar signed, which we had brought. I go running back to the car and grab the guitar. I sprinted back there, but there was no need.

Finally after about 20 minuets of waiting AM! came out, at first we couldn't talk to them, but then Jay started walking around, and we started talking to him. He was teh first to sign my brothers guitar. We talked for a bit, then let him talk to the others. Then we met Andrew Steward the bassist, who is one funny mother fucker, and then James Bowman. James gave my brother a pick, which was gig used, then Andrew who did not want to be outdone by James reached into his pocket and pulled out, as he described, "an American quarter." Not only that, when we first asked him to sign the guitar he said, "hold on, I know something," he preceded to play the opening of "Under the Bridge" by RHCP. I said to him, "ohh I see you are going to give James a run for his money on guitar." He replied by saying, "nah, that's all I know..."

One of the most exciting parts came when we asked Jordan is AM! will be on Warped Tour, he hinted with an optimistic, "you never know." Then when we spoke to Tom again, he confirmed that they will be doing Warped Tour this year. Which now has me excited for Warped Tour 2011!

The guys in AM! were amazing, there is a reason they are AM! is the number two band on my list behind Rise Against. We got a picture and able to have conversations with them which was so cool. It is so rare that you get to meet one of your favorite bands, and get them to do all these things for you. It was just an all around great night. I don't think I could have asked for more.-SS

Better Than The Worse

Trying to keep true to my self and write. I have this story I want to write. Just too damn lazy to actually write it...

For now something, and me not having the motivation ti string words together for now. This is better than nothing.-SS

The Republican Alphabet....

Most people don’t know this, but in addition to a remedial civics class, Michelle Bachmann also taught a remedial English course. She started with the basics:

A is for Anti-Christ. See B & O.

B is for Barack – Isn’t that an “exotic” name for a President? George, Ronald and Sarah are far more American sounding.

C is for Christ, who informs all of my decisions, including the ones where I discriminate against the poor and sick. Just like He would!

D is for Death panels and they’re coming to unplug Grandma!

E is for Electoral campaign finance reform. AHAHAHAHAAHH! Just kidding! The letter E is brought to you by, well, I don’t really have to tell you that anymore, do I?

F is for Fascism!!! BE READY TO FIGHT THE FASCIST LIBERAL GOVERNMENT AT ANY TIME!!! Nothing bad ever happens when you live your life by this doctrine. And if it does, it’s an isolated incident (see I).

G is for God, Guns & Guts. Everything a population needs to run a country wisely.

H is for Health care reform. Get the guns; they’re coming for Grandma again!

I(1) is for Immigration. “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free” and I will do everything in my power to disenfranchise and demonize them as a way to maintain the White (not white, White, how many times do I have to clarify that?) hegemony.

I(2) is for Isolated Incident. These unfortunate events that only appear to have been instigated by violent rhetoric are totally unrelated to any other letter in this list (See A,B,D,F,G,H,L,N,O,P,U,X). Unless the offender is a liberal, then it’s MSNBC’s fault.

J is for Jesus. I can never have too much of him in my life. And I want to make sure he’s part of YOURS too, whether you like it or not.

K is for Kansas and Kentucky where evolution is a four letter word. No, seriously, our education system is so bad we can’t spell but wee no wi ain’t relaytuhd 2 no munkey!

L is for Liberal. Liberals hate you and everything about you. They’re plotting to take over the country by force. They also happen to be total wimps and weaklings who hate guns. How are wimps and weaklings without guns going to take over the country? Please see Q.

M is for Marriage between a man and a woman ONLY. Even if it’s Brittany Spears’ 55 hour marriage, it’s still sacred, dammit!

N(1) is for Nazi. Nazis want to destroy America. Anyone who disagrees with you is one of these.

N(2) is for Nig…well I won’t say THAT word about those people or the liberal thought police will come for me but I think you know what I mean (wink wink).

O is for Obama. See N(1) and N(2).

P is for President. 1. The highest office of the land. The most powerful man in the world (for now…Palin in 2012!), deserving of our respect and admiration and love and full support during a time of war. 2. A secret Muslim foreigner terrorist sympathizer that is out to kill you and all you hold dear. It depends on who we are talking about. See O.

Q is for questions. Never ask any. Ever. About anything.

R is for Ronald Reagan. Ronnie represented a righteous religious revival and rapacious right-wing Republican revolution that ruined Russia. It doesn’t matter that, by the time he left office, he was unable to repeat or understand the previous sentence.

S(1) is for Sarah Palin. Sister Sarah symbolizes strength, serenity, sweetness and street smarts. She supports several serious stances on society’s struggles. Which ones? All potential interviewers please see Q.

S(2) is for Science which is Satan’s tool. Again, please see Q.

T is for Tea Party. The Tea Party tactlessly trampled through a thicket of town halls by throwing tenacious televised tantrums about terrible tax increases that never happened. “Alliteration? That one of them fancy college words for taking away my Medicare?”

U is for Us vs. Them.

V is for Voting. Voting is a God given right that we would NEVER think of interfering with by gerrymandering Congressional districts, underfunding voting machines in low income areas, mailing fliers to African Americans with false information, using robo-call centers to convince Hispanics to not vote in protest or anything else you can think of. If you do think of anything else, whatever you do, pleasedon’t suggest it your local GOP campaign headquarters. (1-800-drty-trk)

W is for Wealth redistribution. What goes up must never come down. That would be class warfare!

X is for Xenophobia (courtesy of Chuck Hutchings). “HELLO? WHICH. WAY. TO. THE. BATHROOM? EL BANO? DO. YOU. SPEAK. AMERICAN? Good lord, I hate Canada!”

Y Is for Yesterday when things were so much better than they are today. Women and Negroes knew their place and pinko commie liberals were blacklisted. Don’t you wish we could go back to those good ol’ days? So do we and we’re trying as hard as we can!

Z is for Zero accountability (courtesy of Dave Mann). Words are completely powerless. If words had ANY kind of power at all, our Founding Fathers would have used them to declare our independence or elevated them to first among our rights. So stop blaming every death threat, attempted assassination, anti-government militia and shooting spree on us. It was an isolated incident. They all isolated incidents! See I(2)

Help Is On The Way...

I thought about this for a second, and kind of drew this conclusion. Why to I enjoy playing punk rock more than playing what I was playing. Here's the main reason. I am playing this style of music for the people that are listening to the songs and finding a personal connection in their meaning. I am not doing it for self gain. I am going to to help those who are in need of a get away, receive that personal relief that they haven't been able to find. It's not about the money, fame, or girls. It to me is about getting a point across, and touching someone musically.

To me it is about being able to tell a story from the heart, and not write some messed up dream that could lead someone down a disturbing path, and become self destructive. Even though those stories that are sung may have a dark meaning, they are connectible and let the listener know that, they're not the only ones who life is fucked up. When I go t shows, I know that some people around me have had it worse, and this is their escape, or their locked door. I want to help those people someday. That is what I do what I do.

Even though the perks that come with it, ie: money, fame, ect.. are good, they are not what I want out of playing in a punk rock band. It not about me, it's about them, the listener, the fan, the one who is feeling strong emotions when they come to see a punk band and want to get away.

That is what I stand for when I hit the stage these days. My aim is straight and true now a days in what I want to do musically. Just give me a course, and I will get there...-SS

A Promise Is A Promise

I have been in sort of a creative mood lately, and have been spurned on the 36 hours after hearing the new Rise Against song. There is kind of a lot to talk about so I really don't know where to start at one in the morning, but lets see where this takes me.

More talk of the new band that I am doing. Now going on week two, so far so good. Currently at about three songs really done. That number is going to jump very soon though because we do have some uncompleted songs and riffs that need parts. Could be around six or seven songs by the end of the weekend. I have no clue though. I am also going to go after the "fickashawna" method when it comes to the lyrics. I write "Down, But Not Out" after the riff was written, and the song captured the emotion of the song better. So that's what I will do. That doesn't mean I am going to scrap lyrics. If I think I have lyrics that might work, I'm going to try and make it fit. I have a list of song names I want to use though, I found out that having a title first really helps me with a direction of the lyrics.

Should hopefully have a show around the start of March. There are going to be some funky things happening between now and then... Hopefully not permanent though.

Moving on...

Seen some really ugly things with in the family recently. Luckily not my direct family, but rather what my father's younger brother has done lately. My grandfather passed away last April, and was sitting on a worth of about 750k, which is quite a pretty penny. There was no will, so a whole mess of things needed to happen. What wound up happening was this, my fathers brother was given the admin task seeing how him and my father are the only two living children of his, my dad is out on the road for 45 days at a time, and couldn't do these things. So here's what happened. Kind of ugly.

Around October we got a letter from my uncles lawyer asking to "not sue" him after the money is disbursed. It seemed suspicious, but nothing that strange, so my dad asked to see the spending and itemized list just to be sure, again, not something that is unusual. When we got the papers we saw something that was kind of disturbing, we never "officially" assigned my uncle as admin, he was asked to do it because of my father. Instead of doing my grandfathers wishes, and splitting it six ways, he took out a hefty admin fee, which we found kind of offensive. Then after we started questioning, and probing delays started coming when we would get paper work, or requested paper work. There were problems with this... Let me explain..

My uncle first off has NO SPINE, and is whipped around by his wife. (I am going to abuse ad ad hominem here so bare with me.) He has this wife you see, who after her parents passed she snaked her way around to get money from their inheriteness and basically broke up a family. This "bitch" managed to do it again. We can tell she was persuading these messages, and decisions. First off, my grandmother, and grandfather apparently did not like her in the first place, and my uncle got married to her without them even knowing. So you can imagine, going behind your parents back like that will only lead to what came later.

Here is the kicker to it all. My grandfather who spoke to my dad shortly before he did said this, "Do you think he will distribute the money fairly." There was doubt before he died. The fact that someone would do that to their father is sickening. It is gross, and the gluttony that is seen here is disturbing. There is a special place in hell for people like this guy..

That is really it.. It is jibberish, and pointless I know. My advice to everyone. If you have, or know someone who is elderly or sickly, make sure there is a living will. Things like this will never happen if that is the case.. Goodnight...-SS

Down, But Not Out

“Down, But Not Out”
Are we the ones so far away, like a ship drifting out to sea?
Our destination has become unknown, somewhere we can’t agree
The curtains draw, and the lights go out, and we cannot flea
I don’t know where you stand anymore, but it’s just you and me

I know you're still standing alone
But this fuse has already blown

We are down but not out
Even though we stand against the odds
Break out, and see what it’s all about
Take a breath and jump into the unknown

We are down but not out
You can’t keep us from coming back (hey!)
Break out, and leave no sense of doubt
Take a breath and let’s jump to the unknown

The road we take has brought us here, nowhere to be found
All these dreams that your tears have long since drowned
Are hiding somewhere in the past, as we turn ourselves around
Like a book with unwritten pages, we can find our common ground

I know you're still standing alone
But this fuse has already blown

We are down but not out
Even though we stand against the odds
Break out, and see what it’s all about
Take a breath and jump into the unknown

We are down but not out
You can’t keep us from coming back (hey!)
Break out, and leave no sense of doubt
Take a breath and let’s jump to the unknown

(Solo)

We are down but not out
Even though we stand against the odds
Break out, and see what it’s all about
Take a breath and jump into the unknown

We are down but not out
You can’t keep us from coming back (hey!)
Break out, and leave no sense of doubt
Take a breath and let’s jump to the unknown

Whoa-oh, whoa-oh-ohwhoa-oh,

Whoa-oh, whoa-oh-ohwhoa-oh,
Whoa-oh, whoa-oh-ohwhoa-oh,

^^^This goes with vvvvvvv

Once Again.....

I broke a promise that I made, and it has kind of cost me.

That feeling of having a small case of writers block is back. I hate when this happens. Everything comes to a stand still and nothing new comes out. Today I finished writing a song, yes, and entire song, and now I need to put the icing on the cake, and that is the lyrics. Now sometimes I tend to over think things when it comes to writing. I'm not exactly sure what I should write about, or what I should say, and how. That part always leaves me clueless. Sometimes it just happens, other times it falls flat. Right now it is falling flat, unfortunately. I'm not saying that I am disappointed with t he lyrics that I have currently, I just discovered that what was written today doesn't work with anything that I currently have. I also am considering maybe shortening the song by a repetition in the verse.

Either I need to listen to more music, or get my mind going again and start writing again, like I am doing now. I have noticed that I haven't been listening to much music lately, and when I had spurts of creativity in the past there was music that was influencing me. I will also, along with writing, will be listening to more music. I have been listening to new bands lately, like Bouncing Souls, and Rancid, so one would think something would come out.

Pushing your mind to write when it has hit a road block can re-activate it. That is what I am trying to do. I just wish I really had something to talk about. I learned something recently, and want to write about that, but I am focused on this song first. The story behind what I want to write is very real. Sometimes I bend the truth, but in every set of lyrics that I write or sing there is some grains of truth, some more than others. Everything, however, is written straight from the heart. When you are not feeling anything, I guess things are kind of bland, and maybe this writers block is good, because that means the lyrics could possibly be bland. This song is most definitely not a bland song. It has a good hook, and could very well be a good single. So I just need to write, or just feel something.

Class starts up again soon, so that might lead to things happening. Seeing new things, and such can get my mind going. Lets see where this will take me....-SS

A Brick Through A Window

This is the story of my life. I stop writing at times, and then I can't write lyrics. Free writing just keeps my mind moving, and alert. So I stop my persistent writing, and guess what, lyrics don't come so easy. Happens to me way too many times. Now that I have a band, I need to keep writing. This time I am writing music a whole lot more than I was in my past band, so I guess that can count. One song is already done, and the song that we started on last practice I had written about two thirds of the song, it just feel apart because there was a funky intro that wasn't. Still have the riff, and will play with it tomorrow.

I'm just going to force myself to writ in here like I do when I have spurts of lyrics, and such.

That's it for now. I'll be back tomorrow.-SS

This Is A Start

I was going to make a comment about what happened yesterday afternoon last night, but was exhausted and went to sleep instead. So now that there is some time I can speak.

What happened in yesterday in Tucson was appalling. The fact people lost life for a political reason is disgusting. Politics are mean for a way for the country to govern itself, and these people are elected, but most of all, they are American. Yes, there are some "bad apples" in Washington, but people believing that all government is corrupt is wrong, and yes, there are some corrupt individuals on Capital Hill, but not all. There is no need to shoot someone for a political belief. It is a waste of human life, and not to mention a brilliant mind that this Gabby Giffords had. She was a closer to center democrat, and was always after bi-partisanship. This woman will never be the same after this event. Not to mention other victims of this mindless crime, a nine year old girl, granddaughter of former Mets, Phillie, and Yankee manager Dallas Green, and a federal judge, John Roll. All of which is blood that not need to be spilt, and for what?

This brings me to my main point.

The rhetoric that has been used for the past 18 months during this past political cycle has taken things too far. To the image that former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin posted, which included 20 democrats running for office in 2010 and their districts in gun cross-hairs; to Sharron Angle statement "if we don't get our way, start shooting," and the threats that have been stated by people like Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, and Bill O'Reilly, which have promoted violence too. Yes, there are people like Keith Olbermann and the MSNBC group, but Olbermann came out last night and one apologized for anything he may have said that could have incited violence, and called upon the extreme right three to do the same, and stop with the violent change. This is a start for change in a personality in how we are presented news entertainment.

Why should it be stopped? People that are unstable, like Jared Lee Loughner, start hearing things like that in media and start becoming paranoid about the government. It needs to stop, and news needs to be portrayed as news, and nothing else. He might not be the only one, there could be others out there. Luckily it wasn't someone that was able to get to the president. There are people out there that thought of it, I am sure. The arguments, and false facts that are brought up in the media needs to be stopped. Look what it has lead to. I am not saying that liberal media is innocent, but they aren't as violent as conservative media. In a country that was founded on peace, and a right to voice your opinion, it has gone to the way side. It is depressing to see what has happened.

I am hoping after this incident that we have learned, these are people in congress and politics. They are not animals that we can shoot because we don't agree with them. I hope Giffords survives, but if she does die, she will be the highest ranking official to be killed since 1968, when Robert Kennedy was killed.

Lets learn, and get it right.-SS

Document Of A Dream

I had the strangest dream last night, and it has kind of left me a little shaken, and curious about it. If there is something I wish I could decipher, I wish I could figure out dreams, because this one was weird. My dreams aren't like a fantasy dream, most of my dreams take place within reality, which for the most part they confuse me. Anyway, enough of the introductory jabber, I'll move onto the main point.

The dream starts as most do, you are in a place you can't describe, and you don't quite understand how you got there in the first place. This one was particular because there were parts the reminded me of my home town in New York, although I know it wasn't. Same sort of atmosphere that my old home town had though. Now one of the first things I remember in this dream is coming across this girl, I say she was about 5'6 to 5'8, and she was trying to kill her self. I stopped her from doing such a final deed, not by talking her out of it, but stopped her physically, and basically pulled her out of a pool she was trying to drown herself in. Shortly after that my mind jumps to i want to say maybe six months into the future. This girl and I have formed a relationship, and we are very, very close. To the point I am holding her in my arms, and she gives me a kiss. Then this is where teh dream starts getting dark.

This scene that I am describing is like a scene in a movie where everything is happy just before the horrible event happens, and the story has it's problem. The dream cuts to a part, where I am not to the girl back at the pool that I rescued her from, but something is wrong, something has happened to her, she is really depressed and crying. Why is she this way, I do not know. Dreams do that to you, no back story to explain it. She ties a cable around her neck that is tied to the fence aroud the pool, she jumps in and drowns her self. Now this is the part that has me shaken, and confused.

I see her take the plunge into the pool, and quickly I jump in, while trying to swim over and save her, something literally stops me and blocks me, and said "try it again, and we will send you... and the location is blurred so I have no clue where. It is an invisible force that I couldn't explain, but this was a note card at the bottom of the pool that I saw. The pool was murkey, but a light from the other side of the pool illuminated, but the girl I could not see. I couldn't stop her this time, and something wanted her dead. I could have stopped her, but I was helpless, and felt listless.

The dream cuts again. I'm on a bus, and I don't know why I ask someone, who in the dream appears to be a friend. Is there any way we can save her or bring her back, and the person looks at me with confusion and tells me that she is gone, and there is no getting her back. There is no helping her now, she has passed. Again, that emotion of confusion and sorrow arrived in my body, and I felt lost knowing that this girl was gone.

I cannot explain this dream. There is no resemblance to it. I'm not grieving over a lost girl, wanting someone back. It is confusing. I hate when your mind plays tricks on you like this. Some people have fearful nightmares, I just get these realistic dreams that have really depressing outcomes. No horror,no blood, no guts, or whatever, just a miserable ending that I can never explain.

Sometimes I wish that the whole Inception thing was real, so you can construct dreams and such, and piece together meanings. Nope, not the case. I'll just continue wondering....-SS

New Beginings

I haven't been talking much on here. One there hasn't been much going on so why really say anything. Things have made a big turn today. After an interesting 72 hours of really strange events; I now have a band. It really came together as quick as a hurricane. Literally. My brother had been talking to has been talking to a guitar player for a few months, strangely enough we had met him at the Green Day concert back in August. Apparently he knew a bass player, and had been playing in a band for a little bit. Then last year at PVCC (2009), I met this guy who was a drummer in my music business class, who was in a band at the time, and we would talk about our bands, he contacted me last night at around 2:15, and we started lining it all up today.

This afternoon we all got together, and jammed, and it all came together. It was a lot of fun, something different than what I was doing. I like the guys in this band, and they are a whole lot better than my former mates personality wise, which I believe is the most important part. Not only that, I really like the sound of the drummers drum kit, and his skills. Young, drivern, and frustrated is the best way to describe us.

That's it for now...-SS

Don't Give Up

Figured I'd start the new year with some lyrics... I wrote these a few days ago, just haven't felt like posting...

"Don't Give Up"
All those left behind
To all those still outside
Waiting for the unknown
To all the broken hearts
Torn into a million parts
Don't give up

Thrown out without a thought
Like walking to the gallows
Awaiting the end that is your fate
To give in is what we've been taught
But to give up is where we stand
Trapped in a world consumed by hate

When a house is no longer a home
Where your bed is hell on Earth

All those left behind
To all those still outside (Whoa-oh---)
Waiting for the unknown

To all the broken hearts
Torn into a million parts (Whoa-oh---)
Don't give up

No way to break the curse
When the door slams in your face
Any hope you had has slipped away
I only think it gets worse
When your heart is the one to blame
All you can do is call "May day"

When a house is no longer a home
Where your bed is hell on Earth

All thoes left behind
To all those still outside (Whoa-oh---)
Waiting for the unknown

To all the broken hearts
Torn into a million parts (Whoa-oh---)
Don't give up

{solo}

But to give up is where we stand

All those left behind
To all those still outside (Whoa-oh---)
Waiting for the unknown

To all the broken hearts
Torn into a million parts (Whoa-oh---)
Don't give up