Now We're All Gone

My mind is constantly running, sometimes I fear that that is a bad thing. I guess it is a good thing to be thinking. Although, sometimes these thoughts just don't make sense. They sometimes seem to escape me before I get the chance to verbalize what is going on in my mind, sometimes it is really interesting. That is kind of what happened earlier. I was thinking about something that I wanted to speak about, but it disappeared as fast as it came.

It went something like this. I think..

The misconception of what happens in a music scene. There are such things as dead scenes, and I was in a band that was trudging through a dead scene. This time I am in a band that has found the scene, and we are slowly, but surely becoming a name for ourselves. It may not be much, but it is starting to grow. It feels as if we are standing on thin ice, and about to break through. We're going to be heading into the studio in about 4 or 5 weeks to record this fucking record finally. I know I have said this before, but this time it is happening. Anyway... With this scene that I am starting to find, scattered yes, but unified strangely. Now there are some down things that I have come to notice, it is kind of weird.

Here is the anomaly. There are a few bands that get frequent radio play on a independent station KWSS often, now I am not saying that it is the stations fault, or problem, but they just happen to be the ones playing these bands. What is going on seems to be is that these bands have formed this weird friend circle, and are really stubborn to let new people in that are in bands, even if you show to be friendly, they shun you quickly. Now I will not name names, but I have noticed this over the past six weeks. It is very unsettling that bands are playing like this. They are non-factors competition wise in getting anywhere, but still. I have been trying to preach unity among the music scene out among the all the alt rock bands, whether it is punk or whatever. Then again the people in these bands are kind of snot nosed, and selfish, so I should need not worry about this. It is just something that pisses me off, especially when you try to make friends with people that are in bands.

I honestly want to get big some day, if you want to call me a sell out, whatever. Reason why, I want to make a difference on someones life that follows my music. I was some wrong way kid not too long ago with a misguided direction, then I really started getting into Rise Against, and bands like that, and it made a change on me. I want, someday, to have someone come up to me and say that my music, and me as a person changed their life because how I handled myself. That is all I want to get out of this, money is a non-factor. Now I know a few people reading this will think I am an asshole, and such, but those people don't honestly know me. I am an empathetic individual, I feel for other people, even though I normally don't say it. Sometimes I feel bad for people, then I realize that they got themselves into that problem. How I handle myself is a whole different story. I am humble, and that is what I want future fans to see me as, and not some ego inflated headed rock star. I laughed the other day when someone said that about my former band, I was like yeah, pretty much.

I should know more about the radio show in the next few days/weeks. Once again I am doing all kinds of media shit, just like high school all over again. If next semester goes to plan, I will start a political talk show like Keith Olbermann. It will be sick. Wow, ADD much, totally different subject from last paragraph. Anyways, that is enough for now.