This past four weeks has been one hell of a ride. I have felt literally all emotions that I thought I could feel. Right now it is sheer joy, but me a few weeks ago would not have thought that. It has been interesting to say the least. It will make for some very interesting lyrics when we start writing again.
Well, I guess I'll start at the band. This story was very interesting. First off, there were never any glaring visible problems that anyone talked about. Things were fine. Until one night, but no one guessed anything was wrong. Yeah, things may have gone haywire, but that was a personal matter, which I will get to later. I knew something wasn't right on stage. It during the set I kept on being interrupted on stage by Kurtis. We have always done for the most part I lead conversation on stage, and they would butt in when appropriated. I wasn't able to say what I had been saying in show about the songs, which I know people like to hear, he even said at one point, unbeknownst to me about someone "he's fun to drink with." We don't drink, well I don't, and now I know for a fact the band is straight-edge with all members. Then the next day I was being asked to leave the band I formed with my brother, and my brother stuck up for me because what was going on was horribly wrong. So since we were the founding members we were keeping the name, and since for the most part my brother was the main writer, we were keeping the music. Now out of all of this I was called a dictator, and such. Which I found out later that I was far from that. Apparently the second drummer we had was kicked out by Kurtis, and no one in the band had any say, or heard anything of it. So there was the whole mess of that, there is more like how we wanted to be the front man and such. It was a mess. I don't know the entire story because I was left in the dark about this, and just going on what I heard.
Now here is the band now of days, funny I kind of consider this the original line-up. When my brother and I started formulating this we had originally wanted to get Christian on the drums, and Wes on the guitar or bass. So You could say this was meant to be. I honestly like this line-up a whole lot better. I don't think I have ever laughed so hard in a band, and had so much fun playing the music. Now I am playing rhythm guitar, and singing. Such an energy release.
Lets tap on another topic, because this I believe is a stem of all of these problems that arose over the last few weeks, my old band mates. Let me say this about them, they are liars, and losers. It was a year ago that I left that band for that reason. Never have I met a group of people sputtering in place and think they are going somewhere. I get them their first show outside of a little venue, and not once to I receive a thanks or anything. It's just funny, even though I am not tied to that band, and I am still getting them gigs because they are so inept to getting their own. They try to act all "tough" and like "bad-ass," and then when they are presented with a chance to act like a tough guy, or a bad-ass in a fight, they back down, and call security because they are too weak to fight, or too afraid. To you sir, you are a fucking coward. They are just bad people. I honestly wish only the worst for them.
Then last but not least, we have the now ex-girlfriend. Sometimes I wish I never called your friend, but we can't change the past no can we. We all make statements about how we hate the past, and never want to relive it, which seems to be a theme on this blog, but of course she had to follow her tracks to the hole she was in. It is kind of comical. For someone to all themselves classy, you actually have to be "class." I don't think smoking and drinking qualify as "classy." I know one girl that I actually can call a "classy woman," but you are not one. Sadly enough by the end I was kind of getting disgusted by you. I guess I should have listened to my gut instincts from the start. Whatever. I did care for you, I did like you, but it wasn't going any further than that. So that's why I am so okay with it. I was over it before it even ended, but I know you were cheating on me. I know it, so you don't have to try and deny it. Just adding against your cause for not being classy. I gave you a lot of things, I was chivalrous, and took you places. You did a lot for me, at times and I think you. When you are a backstabber, you deserve nothing. So when you ship is sinking in the future, I will be sailing different seas, and will only deliver a short eulogy at your shipwreck.
I never understood the Pennywise song "Bro-Hymn" until recently, and now I get it. If you read the lyrics that is exactly how I feel with the people around me currently. I really have a lack of trust for people, I don't know how long that will take to heal, but it will. All that will remain are scars from the days gone by. The scars that we bare is what makes us. From the fights we have lost, and the fights we have won. That is what truly shapes us. We give up, we are nothing, we stand up to something we will only get stronger. I know that my old band mates in their "new" band (more like re-hashes of songs I help write,) and ex are quitters. They will give in to anything.
This may be a month late, but I feel this is the right time to say all this. Think what you must, and take from it whatever you want. I know the people I am calling out may be reading this, these are only words. You had your chance to confront me, and you backed down. Some day these people will wake up and see the disaster that is their life... Yeah right.
Oh, and speaking of seas, and analogies. I am already on a different sea. I braved the storm, and took it head on. From here it is relatively clear sailing. There will be rough seas again, but I am ready for anything.
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