..And All The Sorrow In This World

For the first time in a long while I was at a loss for words. That never happens. I tend to know how to handle any situation that is brought upon me, but this was something different. Normally when I speak, I can speak from experience, but not this. There are events that the human mind has no idea how to comprehend. Most of the time when we lose a loved one, we know it's coming. A grandparent/parent/brother or sister gets diagnosed with a terminal disease, and is given a time table. When something sudden happens, you don't know how to react, or what to do.

I found out today that a good friend of mine from New York, his father was killed by being electrocuted while trying to fix an A/C unit. The story that I heard was rather sad. Right now in New York it isn't too hot, but mind you I am speaking from a place where the average temperature is 100, and 75 is jacket weather. So apparently, I don't know around what time, he went out to fix it, and he was found dead.

My friend is a tough dude. If I stayed in New York I would be right beside him right now and about to make a jump to the FDNY. So you can see my cards, he is a firefighter. Those guys are tough mother fuckers. I feel as though I should be there right now, is this weird? No. I am stuck thousands of miles away, and been handed a different card. There are times I honestly feel closer to the people I know back in New York than I know here in Arizona. I feel obligated to be there, but I can't. The only thing I can do is keep him and his family in my thoughts.

This set the wheels in my mind into motion. Every time I hear something like this it makes me realize how precious our lives can be. To live is not something to be over looked. Many people say that their lives are so bad, and they wish they were dead, and people kill themselves everyday. Why? I life is honestly worth more than anyone can imagine. That's why politically I am frustrated at why the government will let for profit companies decide whether we live or die. I reject their hand in that, but that isn't the point I make.

It is okay to be scared with what life may bring you, there is nothing wrong with that. The unexpected is what is so exciting. Who doesn't want some excitement in their life. I do have a belief more fate than anything. That everything we do has for the most part been pre-decided, that cliche' "if it's your time to go it's your time." We will never know what is in store though, and I like that unknown. Sometimes I wish I could predict what is going to happen to me, but it is murky pool to look in.

Those who want to waste life, do not deserve life. Live life, don't be stuck wanting on what will never be, or get stuck on what happened. We have control, even though I said I believe in fate, but I believe that we do control out fate though, to a certain degree. To let go and give up is no way to look at life, and just accept. Change fate, and make your story like a unwritten book. Don't let a boring terminal become your life.-SP